Dim

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I seek the cause of my English communication breakdown
Sentences refuse to form
Ideas refuse to take shape
I am failing at cohesion
Everything I think of is fragmented
Can you read this?
This is not poetry
This is nonsense
This writing
I am flailing in a sea
I sit to write but my mind is as hazy as my eyesight
I am trying to pin the cause of my restlessness but contemplation is not forthcoming
There is a shadow of cringe
And the sensations of flight
I feel my flabby thighs, swollen from all the driving to and from work
Flab, filling in the space where muscles should have been
Nursing the idea of jogging isn’t jogging
I have been shiftless
listless
Everything I am is lazy
Lazy eyes to focus
Lazy limbs to move
Lazy spirit to create
Lazy me
Dim

………………………………

I do not wish to end this work with a tone of despair and impotence
I do not wish to have this writing inspired only by my uselessness
I am telling you that I will do better
I will exercise
eyes, body, spirit
I will consume less news
and more colourful transports of the arts and fiction
I will wield more love
starting with the love for myself
For you see
I can’t care for anything
if I don’t care for me

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